John's Ten WORST Films of 2015

Well after a long hiatus it's time to list off my ten LEAST favorite films of 2015. Yep, I'm getting the worst out of the way first. Also, keep in mind that just because these are on my list I'm not declaring these "the worst of all time" these are just the ones I don't like. These are movies that either made me mad or I listed them objective reasons. Also, keep in mind I have not seen every single bad movie that came out in 2015, these are just the ones I've seen and the ones that I didn't care for. If you liked any of these names then good for you, I'm not going to take away your enjoyment at all.

First off here are ishonorable mentions:
The Gunman - Pierre Morel
Hot Pursuit - Anne Fletcher
The Loft - Erik Van Looy
Pan - Joe Wright
Seventh Son - Sergei Bodrov
Taken 3 - Olivier Megaton
The Timber - Anthony O'Brien
Unfriended - Leo Gabriadze
Wild Horses - Robert Duvall

Now here's my top ten!

10. Home - Tim Johnson

During 2015 I saw some fantastic animated film: Inside Out, The Peanuts Movie and Shaun the Sheep Movie. But this one was probably the worst that I saw. This movie just seemed to made to just distract the kids and not get them engaged in anything. Put some bright colors on the screen, have some funny looking characters who talk funny and have some pop songs - there's your movie, kids. Go nuts. I hate to make assumptions about the filmmakers intentions but that's how this movie came off as. That's not enough to get this film higher on the list but it did bug me enough to put it on here. Please expose your children to better material.










09. Cut Bank - Matt Shakman

This is a film that I really wanted to like but it drop the ball hard. First of all the trailer spoils a big plot point. Now that alone wouldn't kill a movie for me but this movie falls apart so quickly. It falls apart right when you start to get the idea that Liam Hemsworth's character is rather despicable. Seriously, he almost kills his dying father by stepping on his breathing tube. Also, the movie goes from begin a cool kind of Coen Brothers like noir mystery to a slasher movie essentially. Also the casting seems off: The main one being John Malkovich as the small town Sheriff. Um... no. Also, Billy Bob Thornton just seems to be sleepwalking throughout the movie. But the thing that REALLY makes me dislike this movie was the ending. Oh man the ending sucks! I kind of want you to watch this film because of the bad ending. This is obviously on the list because it bugged me in a personal way.







08. Chappie - Neil Blomkamp

Originally this spot was going to be occupied by Jupiter Ascending but the more I thought about it, the film had a few decent things in it and it has Eddie Redmayne giving one of the most over the top and enjoyable performances of the year. Meanwhile, Chappie just annoyed me. Nearly every character in this movie annoyed me to death; whether it was with an annoying voice, being annoyingly stupid, or just acting despicable. 
I haven't seen Blomkamp's other films but I've heard a criticism that has come up in the reviews of those movies was that he borrows a lot of tropes from other films, and that is very apparent for this film. Throughout this whole movie I was just thinking "Man, I could watching Robocop, The Iron Giant, or Short Circuit right now instead of this." I give Blomkamp credit, he's trying but this was just a mess.
I do know people who like this film and they are more than welcome to enjoy this film, but I'm can't bring myself to like this film or call it a good film.



07. Fantastic Four - Josh Tranks

To Fantastic Four (2015): I'm not mad at you, I'm disappointed. You could have been so much better. Your movie could have been about conflicting social classes, what the definition of family could mean, taking responsibility for your actions, and it could have been an engaging, touching, and fun story about these four unlikely heroes comes together and form this dysfunctional family.
Also that Neil Armstrong speech that Doom (Toby Kebbell) had was one of the DUMBEST speeches I've ever heard in a movie. It's basically a giant spit in the face to him and the other astronauts who bravely landed on the moon. And why did Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell) not have any pants!?
Whether or not a majority of these problems was the director or the studio's fault, this is still a pretty bad movie.
Hopefully in the future we get a good Fantastic Four movie.





06. Pixels - Chris Columbus

Yes, I know a lot of critics have been putting this on their list and yeah I can't deny it either. This is pretty bad. Not because of anything grandly offensive (outside of some sexist bits) and the story itself isn't a bad idea to expand upon but what really bogs it down is the same stupid trends that keep popping up in Adam Sandler movies. Adam Sandler is not an action hero! During this movie there were several points where I asked myself "Really? Sandler and these three other guys are the only people who can stop the video game alien invasion?! Really?!" It's a movie that had potential but it just felt so flat. It wasted the awesome opportunity it had to both pay tribute and poke fun at video game culture. I'd say just stick with that one segment from the Futurama episode "Anthology in Interest II". And that short film this movie is based on.






05. The Ridiculous 6 - Frank Coraci

I was honestly thinking about putting this at the number one spot on this list but the more I thought about it I couldn't. Unlike A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014, dir. Seth MacFarlane) this movie didn't get a big screen release, which does make me happy. But at the same time this is still a pretty bad movie. This is a movie that could have been funny. This type of premise has plenty of elements to poke fun at satirize and it doesn't take advantage of it at all. Also, the casting: For the love of Pete! You have a hispanic actor but you cast Rob Schneider as the hispanic character?! Seriously?! Also, he movie is WAY to long. There are so many scenes you could take out and it'd be fine. Seriously, did there need to be a scene where the character's play baseball with Abner Doubleday (John Tuturro)? NO! But I'm putting some slack on it because because it wasn't in the theater, I didn't have to make a trek to see it, or pay to see it. But it's still making the list because of the terrible humor. Seriously, did they need THREE jokes involving a donkey and explosive poo. 




04. Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse - Christopher B. Landon

This is a movie that gives us a strong indication that the only zombie thing that needs to be on right now is The Walking Dead. This is a very lackluster comedy that just mainly consists of a lot of low brow jokes including: one involving one of the scouts grabbing a zombie's penis and another joke in which toothless zombie Cloris Leachman (why Cloris?! Why?!) starts attempting to bite another scout's butt. Ugh! Also, this movie has an extremely dated mindset of Boy Scouts being dorks and losers. Now, when I was in high school I knew guys in the Scouts and believe it or not they were well liked and had a lot of friends, they also did other activities that weren't Boy Scouts related. Believe it not teens do more than just one activity in high school. Want to watch a good zombie comedy? Stick with Shaun of the Dead (2004, dir. Edgar Wright) and Zombieland (2009, dir. Ruben Fleischer).






03. Fifty Shades of Grey - Sam Taylor-Johnson

Yeah, you knew that this movie was going to be on this list and its hard to not at least go "yeah, that sucked." Now, I'm sure some of you are wondering why this isn't at the top spot of my list here's why: they tried and I've seen worse. Yes, this movie does give a creepy and terrible representation of BDSM and it does seem to romanticize a creepy and possessive relationship with a guy who is clearly psychotic and shouldn't be trusted. But I get the sense that the director tried. She knew she was given a crap script but tried to do something with it. But there is really isn't anything great in this film. If you're a fan of it and it gets you excited in some way than enjoy, but its not for me.









02. Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 - Andy Fickman

THIS MOVIE SUCKED! Sorry, sorry, I'm better than that but holy crap this movie was a chore to get through. The first one was bad but this movie was just so unbearably bad and stupid! This movie didn't really seem to have an idea as to what it wants to do comedy wise.  Does it want to be a slap-stick comedy? A dark comedy? What?! Because it one second we have a joke about Blart's mom getting killed by a milk truck (nothing scream comedy like dead mothers) and then the next second it'll features jokes about him being fat. Also, there are some many jokes that play the awkward card to the point where it was unbearable. Also, this movie has quite possibly one of the dumbest moments I've EVER seen in a movie. The scene: Paul Blart (Kevin James) is going through and taking out the bad guy's henchman with non-lethal weapons and he is then later surprised to see that they're alive and says, "Oh that's what non-lethal means."
You mean to tell me he has been a security guard for years and HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT NON-LETHAL MEANS?! AAAAAHHHHHH!!! As I said, I didn't like the film. 



01. The Gallows - Travis Cuff and Chris Lofing

Yes, it is this film that made my top spot. Now I'm sure some of you are wondering, "Well now what's so bad about this film? It looks like just another cheap-o found footage movie. What's so bad about it?" Every second this film was on I kept going "Will you shut up!" or "WHAT?! FREAKING WHAT?!" The movie's plot makes no sense what so ever. The set up for the movie is that during a high school production of a play called The Gallows (which doesn't exist) a kid was accidentally hung by the fully functional noose. WHAT?! Why would they have a fully functional noose!? Anyway, the movie picks up ten years later and we get introduced to one of the worst characters ever - Ryan (Ryan Shoos). By the way, the four main actors of the film have the same exact names as their characters - Ryan, Reese, Pfeifer and Cassidy. Really? But anyway, Ryan is one of the most annoying characters ever. He is that stereotypical jock bully who is horrible throughout the whole film. He's the one recording it - for no real reason!


While the film does get a creepy shot or two it just fails hard as a film and was just a hard sit through. With an extremely idiotic plot, one of the most annoying characters I've ever seen in a movie, and some scents of laziness - this movie to me is the worst of 2015.

Stay tuned for my Best of 2015 list.