Monday, January 5, 2015

Worst of 2014

Time for the annual best and worst of the year lists. I'm going to start with the worst of the year because I want to get all of the negatives out of the year.

I've probably stated this before but when I make these kind of list it really is more of a 'least favorite' list. I'm sure others were weaker in writing, acting and etc but it just comes down to whether or not I would sit down and watch this movie again.

Also keep in mind I haven't seen a good chunk of the films that have been called "bad". For example: I haven't seen Left Behind, the Endless Love remake, Annabelle and I sure as hell haven't seen Saving Christmas. Because there is no way Kirk Cameron is getting any of my money.

Also, this is just my own personal opinion. If you disagree with my opinion that's fine, I will never take away any amount of enjoyment you got from a movie.

Before we get to the top ten I'd like to present you with my pick for...

OVERRATED MOVIE OF THE YEAR:

This year that "honor" goes to Interstellar. Yeah, I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of comments about this choice (I'd expect that for this category in general) but I'm sorry folks I just didn't enjoy the film as much as everybody else. I'm not saying that the movie is bad. It is shot well, it has some great special effects, and some wonderful performances (Jessica Chastain was the best in my book) what killed it for me was the forced 'love conquers all' stuff that just made me roll my eyes. I'm not opposed to love being a theme in a movie I'm not a heartless prick, but in this film it just hammers it into your head. There were so many moments when Nolan crams in unnecessary dialogue about the power of love and yet he still wants the movie to be taken seriously from a scientific standpoint. I'm sorry but no. In my book you can't be all "this is a super duper serious science movie" and then be all "Emotions are great! There's no greater power than love! The meaning of this scene is..." Also, a robot with a humor chip... seriously. I could go on about this film but this is segment is far longer than it should. If you liked it that's fine, I just didn't.

Now to the main attraction:


10. The Legend of Hercules
This is a last minute entree into the list. This film has been on practically every critic's worst of the year list, and with good reason. I am baffled as to how this movie was released into the cinemas. The cheap special effects, the hammy acting, how on Earth did this get a wide release? I'm sure some of you are wondering why this is so low on the list when it's apparently an extremely terrible film. The main reason is because this movie was HILARIOUS! If anybody out there has a bad movie night then do yourself a favor and watch it. Also, I hope Rifftrax releases a commentary for this movie. 




09. The Expendables 3
A PG-13 rated film, in a franchise that put a lot of pride in its R rated violence. They apparently forgot that "PG-13 is for p***ies!" Ignoring the watered down action the film still pretty disappointing in the story. Yeah, you heard me. The other two films had very basic plots that could keep the audience interested in them and care a least a little bit, this film just tries to juggle too much. By that I mean the cast. The movie has a total of 17 cast members that get crammed into this plot that is trying to be about old vs new but just comes out a jumbled mess and doesn't really do anything with the theme. The closest it comes to old vs new stuff is with Jason Statham and Wesley Snipes (who was technically an 'old' member). Also, I can't remember the young cast members. Nothing makes them stick out, and they don't even have the name value that at least some of the cast members have. So this is without a doubt the weakest link of the series. By the way, The Expendables 2 (2012, dir. Simon West) is the best of the trilogy.



08. I, Frankenstein
The first 2014 movie I saw this year ended up on this list and that shouldn't surprise anyone. The film's story is just boring which wouldn't make it too bad but the supposed allies of our protagonist are just awful! They turn their allegiance for the hero on the turn of a dime, and the fact that every single bad thing that happened to them was their fault makes it stupid when they place blame on Frankenstein (Aaron Eckhart)! Outside of that, the film is just lame.




07. The Identical
An Elvis Presley biopic except not. This is one of the most bizarre films that I've seen this year, and that's saying something considering I've seen a film about a world of where the inhabitants were Lego people, talking apes, and a movie with a talking raccoon and his tree body guard. This movie expects us to believe that the main character could make an extremely successful career for himself by being an impersonator of a guy who is essentially an Elvis ripoff. Also, we're suppose to believe that neither of those two find it odd that the two look and sound exactly the same! Like I said, it is a bizarre film.



06. Transformers: Age of Extinction
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Michael Bay is on the list I'm sure you guys saw that coming. But in this movie's defense I will say this, it isn't as bad as the other films. Which I know isn't saying much but trust me I would rather watch this film than the second film (I can't say the same about the third movie, because I haven't seen it). Mark Wahlberg is a much more appealing lead, and I can actually tell the Autobots apart, though sadly its only because of their voice actors. But outside of that the movie still has a lot of Bay's usually tropes. Annoying characters who serve no real purpose in the movie, extremely cliched emotion cues through camera shots or slow-motion, and an overly complicated plot involving some ancient plot device. Seriously, why not just a basic 90 minute film with the two teams of robots fighting each. Is it that complicated? Just stick with Transformers: The Movie (1986, dir. Nelson Shin) and Pacific Rim (2013, dir. Guillermo del Toro). 




05. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
While this is in no way the worst thing in the Ninja Turtles franchise it didn't really do it any favors. The biggest problem with this film is that it rushes. It doesn't take the time to rest and let the audience get to know these characters and what's going on. It feels like they used the first draft of the script for the film. And say what you will about Michael Bay as a director, I can at least tell what's going on in his action scenes. Whereas Jonathan Liebesman moves things so fast I can't tell which turtle is fighting or where they're at in this fight in relation to other characters. As I said, while this installment is far from the worst thing in the franchise, it was a big missed opportunity.



04. Maleficent 
I'm going to get some flack for this. I know that there are people out there who really like this film, many of whom are friends of mine. As for me, obviously I couldn't stand this movie. I'm not going to pretend that the original Sleeping Beauty was a work of really deep art or that it was a movie that broke a lot of tropes and was a groundbreaking movie but it made up for it with charm and a great style that hasn't been duplicated in any other Disney film. I'm not opposed to having a back story for villain characters but instead of making an interesting and complex story involving Maleficent, the King, and the Fairies (By the way, I LOATHE what they did to the three fairies) we got a really cliched story that is trying to be the "real story" of Maleficent where she's just a bland misunderstood outcast. Oh, and it tries to cram in a plot twist that Frozen did better. If you ask me, obviously I'd say stick with Disney's original film which, again, admittedly isn't that deep and complex story wise but it makes up for it with really compelling performances, music and animation.




03. Sabotage
While David Ayer is listed as one of the writers and the director this movie I think the blame for this film's disappointment goes to the co-writer Skip Woods. Given that he's also the writer responsible for X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009, dir. Gavin Hood) and A Good Day to Die Hard (2013, dir. John Moore) there's enough evidence to support my hypothesis. While many elements of Ayer's style and writing are present this film just has an extremely confusing plot involving the murders of DEA squad members, cheating spouses, drug use, avenging a loved one's death, and a mystery involving stolen money. Also, the characters are so annoying with their overly macho personas that I can't find any sort of sympathy for them. Even if you don't like other David Ayer movies you could at least say you understood where the characters were coming from and find them enjoyable in their own way. These guys? Nope I couldn't care for them in the slightest. The only character I really liked was Olivia Williams.  I recommend you go check out Fury or End of Watch as an alternative.




02. Transcendence
A movie that basically asks the audience to root for terrorists towards the end of the film. The film itself is just blase and kind of boring but towards the end we're suppose to believe the stuff spouted by a group of people who are responsible for the deaths of several innocent people are right and should be rooted for. And the people at the beginning who were killed by them, they had nothing to do with what Johnny Depp's character was doing. True they were working for him and doing research on A.I. material but they weren't involved with him uploading his brain into a computer, or the shady stuff he was supposedly planning. Yes, they try to do the whole "look at what you've done" sort of thing, but there isn't even anything saying they got arrested or even that sense that they were wrong. Other than that the movie tries to be all about we're too dependent on technology and stuff like that but it doesn't really go anywhere with it. And again, it's boring. I say just watch the South Park episode "Trapper Keeper". 




01. A Million Ways to Die in the West
Basically take every weak element of Seth MacFarland's work in recent years and you've got this movie. A plot that barely exists, jokes that go on far longer than they should, unlikable characters, pop culture reference that don't add anything, and countless other things. But I think one thing that kills it for me is that this was a Western, my favorite genre. I know that sounds like a lame reason but I can't lie, it does bum me out. Westerns are a rare thing to see in movies, they usually get a limited release or are on demand. Well, we finally get one in theaters and it's this one! Nope, not The Homesman the movie with an all-star cast and was made by filmmakers who have a more than decent resume and has been getting decent reviews. No, that gets a limited release and in the instead we get the film with an acid trip like scene involving CG peeing sheep! Aaahhhh!!

And that's my ten worst of the year. Again, if you liked any of the movies on this list then that is perfectly fine. I will in no way take away your enjoyment of the movie. For me personally these films just didn't cut it.

Feel free to list what you thought were the worst of 2014. Stay tuned for my best of 2014 list.

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